Late-Night Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

TV's prominent entertainers devoted their airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa program, labeled the "gold card," characterizing it as a clear pay-for-access system for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical holiday tune about the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins everything he handles."

The subject was the controversial initiative that allows international nationals to purchase U.S. residence for an investment of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" option for 5 million. The program's website guarantees approval "in record time."

"A quick note for you to wealthy immigrants: before you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the scheme is also intended to "get cash" from companies looking to hire skilled workers, involving significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants completely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit rich foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Grocery Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging poll ratings during economic concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a attempt to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative news arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.